kayster

I like 2 people. 1 of the 2 I like more. I told him that I liked him. He said he liked alot too. But then he said... "I dont know what to do though..." I started to cry. He didnt say much after that... Neither did I honestly. Later that evening I was talking to the other guy that I like. I already know that this guy likes me alot. And I'm really happy about that too. Because... its complicated. The guy I like more, doesnt like me as much anymore. And the guy who I dont like as much, I'm starting to like more. How do you know what to choose? How do you know whats best in your heart? How can you tell the difference between like

TODAY SUCKED! No lie, today was like, the worst ever. I cried um-teen times, and kept lieing to my family and friends. I feel so stupid. Grr... I'm at the funeral home, I am suppose to be setting up chairs for tomorrow... but, I'm not, and I dont care at all. And its all because today effing sucked! Call me anyone... I need to hangout with someone, anyone, a complete stranger will be fine. I just want to walk and talk with someone. Lately I've had that feeling... the one where you want to put a gun up to your head... and pull the trigger... and get rid of all your pain, and troubles, and... just.. everything.. So after that, I must say..

I feel like I want to die. I cant make up my mind on anything, let alone anyone. I dont want to hurt anyone... that is including myself. I love Brett, I'm not going to give up. I love Ryan... and he loves me. Brett has a gf now, who he loves dearly and oh so much. Ryan wants me. I love Brett so much, I want to tell the world that I am sorry for everything, and tell the world that I love him more than everything except God. Ryan means a whole lot to me, more than a lot of things. I pray to God right now... please help me. What am I to do? Is my life to go like this? Will it be like this til the end? Is this how you planned it? Or did I just m